Maltese Only News
February 2002

NightClub Act

A man had a Maltese who could talk, so he started a nightclub act where he would ask the dog questions and the dog would answer them. Opening night finally came, and here's how it went:

"What substance is on the outside of a tree?", the man asked.

"Bark!", said the dog.

The crowd, sensing a scam, started to sound restless.

"What is on the top of a house?", the man asked.

"Roof!", said the dog.

The crowd, more sure that they were being had, howled in protest.

"Who is the greatest baseball player that ever lived?", the man asked.

"Ruth!", said the dog. At this, the crowd went berserk, and started throwing bottles, the eventually chairs, at the man and his dog. The pair fled to the safety of the dressing room. When they got to the dressing room, the dog turned to his owner and asked, "Dimaggio?".

Things We Can Learn From A Maltese

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.