Maltese Only News
August 2002
Just For Fun
Potty training advice:Roll up a newspaper and place it where it can be reached easily (coffee table in the living room usually works well). When the puppy potties in the house, pick up the newspaper and hit yourself on the head several times while repeating "I should have been watching the puppy more closely".
Life is good
Author Unknown
I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with this long-rotten squirrel.
I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than you ever will be
Today I sniffed many dog behinds - I celebrate by kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Paper boy-come to kill us all - Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man-come to kill us all - Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I lift my leg and whiz on each bush.
Hello, Spot - Sniff this and weep
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as my hairs on the rug.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have made a puddle
I Hate my choke chain - Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here,
my chin on your foot -no greater bliss - well, maybe catching cats
Look in my eyes and deny it.
No human could love you as much I do
The cat is not all Bad-
She fills the litter box with Tootsie Rolls
Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's there. Because it's there.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially when you are eating.
My owners' mood is Romantic - I lie near their feet.
I fart a big one.
Life is good.
"There's a place in the sun where there's hope for everyone." --Stevie Wonder
Ever read a doggie newspaper item that tickles your funnybone?
Enjoy these..
WANT AD: Free puppies
½ Cocker Spaniel
½ Sneaky Neighbor’s Dog
REAL SIGN: In Vet’s Office: Back in 5. SIT! STAY!
SIGN ON FENCE: "Salesmen Welcome ... Dog food is expensive"
NEW ADDITIONS TO THE FAMILY
Angie’s Cotton
Barb’s Jake
Carol’s Lacey
QUOTES
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." - Mahatma Gandhi "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man." - Charles Darwin
"Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things, man will
not himself find peace." - Albert Schweitzer
OLD DOGS DO NOT DIE
We have a secret, you and I,
That no one else shall know,
For who, but I can see you lie,
Each night, in fireglow?
And who but I can reach my hand
Before we go to bed,
And feel the living warmth of you
And touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths,
And see, ahead of me,
Your small form racing wit the wind,
So young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
In every brook I pass.
And, when I call, no one but I
Can see the bending grass.
Author Unknown
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