Sad or just tired?

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Archived Message

Sad or just tired?
by Lydia/Pepper/Baby
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Sad or just tired--MarieHi,I'm just wondering, if this is normal. Pepper was 14 months old when we got Baby in Dec. He had been with us almost a year before Baby came along. Prior to Baby, Pepper would be playful and bring a ball or toy to play fetch with us or run around the house etc. Since Baby arrived, he will run around etc. with her, but when she is in her crate he just kind of lies around and sleeps most of the time. My husband is affraid that Pepper is "depressed" and thinks that Pepper is upset because Baby is here. I think that maybe he is just pooped from running around with Baby etc. and just wants to rest afterwards. They seem to enjoy each other and play well together. There hasn't been major fights between them. I would feel badly, if Pepper was upset re: Baby's arrival. On the other hand, I have grown attached to her and wouldn't give her up. Has anyone experienced this or have any thoughts on the subject.

Marie: I know you have Baxter and Rudy that are close in age have you seen a change in Baxter's personality since Rudy??

DISCUSSION:

Lydia, I've noticed little things, too. Baxter gets "mopey" sometimes, but I think what we're experiencing is the natural maturing of our firstborns. I feel so bad sometimes for Baxter. He has such a giving personality. When they play together, Rudy ends up with the toy/chewey/sock. There is a stuffed ball they play with and invariably, Rudy will drag Baxter all over the family room before he snaps it out of Baxter's mouth. (Baxter is 10 lbs, Rudy is 4.) As much as we try to treat Baxter as No. 1 dog, there are some instances that Rudy gets more attention and I'm sure Baxter feels left out. For example, Rudy was neutered two weeks ago and he became No. 1 for a couple of days. That's life. I'm as sensitive as I can be, but there are times when things get turned around. Anyway, back to my original statement. I think our boys are growing up and puppy antics just aren't as high on their list as they used to be. As long as they're playing together, I think we've got nothing to worry about. Agree?
Marie

Lydia and Marie: Bingo, you just described KoKo and Shayna. I always throught KoKo was being the Mommy and letting Shayna have all the toys and just watch Shayna play tug of war with Human Mommy. I have to try really hard to get KoKo into the fun. She'll join in and after a few Go Fetches, she'll just lay back and watch some more. Don't you think it could be a parenting thing? By the way they are also 15 months apart and we had KoKo for 15 months before Shayna arrived. I can't believe KoKo remembers being an only dog. They love to chase each other and I can see sometimes KoKo lets Shayna know, enough is enough. They are also very sensitive to each other. My Hubby will take only one of them for a ride to the store and the other one looks and barks wanting to know where her sister is. Two is teriffic, what's 3 like? NO I have no plans for a 3rd.
Shelley

Lydia, Lucy went through a "sulky" phase once Carty decided he was "ours" and therefore needed to be more social and involved with me. She was really mad at me. But she is over it now. We also had a couple of times where Carty would growl at Lucy if she tried to get close to me and he wanted to be there and Lucy was really upset about that. I talked to my friend Lee who has lots of good advice from her rescue efforts. She suggested that I try "assigning individual space" to the kids. For example--Luce loves my lap. That's been her place since day one. So Lee said Lucy always should get the lap. Carty can be curled up at my feet (of course, he can also be picked up and held and hugged a little, but he doesn't get to "own" my lap or stay there.). Same for the bed. Carty doesn't much like the bed (I think something bad happened to him on a bed because he is obviously afraid and if he falls asleep and you move your feet he wakes up, growls, and tries to bite) but he gives it a try for a little while each night. Lee said the bed should be Lucy's territory for sleeping and the doggie bed (which Carty brought with him), his sleeping place. He doesn't seem to mind this and now that Lucy knows his presence on "her" bed is temporary, she isn't sulking about that any more either (for a while she was going to the bottom of the bed and looking at me like I was dirt!! Then she'd start barking at Carty until I put him down.) Lee's premise is that you enforce this for as long as it "feels" like an issue needs to be resolved with the kids, forever if need be. I think it is hard going from an only (especially as much as we baby these little ones) to having to share, and a little sulking is probably in order. Though it does sound to me like Pepper is a bit worn out from the play and is trying to find his own quiet space. Try not to worry and follow your instincts. It works out eventually (we hope!).
cathy brown