Maltese bonding issues

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Maltese bonding issues
by Sharon
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Maltese bonding issues I am so happy to find this site. Last month I bought a 2 year old female, Precious, for a pet. Her previous owners divorced and she was left alone most of the day for about a year. She is such an amazing girl. She is extremely well mannered. I adore her. She has become very attached to me over the past few weeks. At first, it was fine with me- but now, she won't go out with my husband or 11 year old son unless I'm there, too. She cries when I go out the door. I have been taking her to work with me (even though my nanny is home during the day) because she cries and lays by the door waiting. How should I encourage her to bond with others in our family? I don't want her to feel abandoned, but we all love her and would like her company. Any ideas? Thanks,

DISCUSSION:

Hello! I kind of had the same problem with my Ellii. We got her at 12 weeks, and she became very attached to me. She would lay by the door and wait for me as well. My husband was feeling kind of sad about it. He wanted her to be bonded with him as well. What we did was, every time we had a snack for her, I would have my husband give it to her. I never gave her the snack, only my husband. Also, we got into the habit of all three playing together. We would pass "Mr.Bear" back and forth between us and pull her into the play. Slowly but surely she started sitting with him. She is still MY baby, and prefers me, but she is very content now to be with my husband. I think He still feels bad when I walk into the room and she flys away from him to me, but He just grins. He is the most wonderful man. I have an African Grey parrot that bit him to bleeding every day for a year. He never gave up. Now they are fine with each other. He has a Molucan Cockatoo that is bonded with him and "tolerates" me. (Thank Goodness) I think these precious babies will always pick a favorite human to own, but they can come to learn to share time with others. Good Luck and God Bless.
Jeannie

Sounds so cute ! She really adores you..she's also afraid that you'll abandon her like the previous mommy..taking her to work is great if that fits into everyone elses style, however if not, the less fuzz you make when you leave the better...NO goodbyes! Just go ! She'll get over it, particularly if someone is home all the, if not try leaving tha TV or Radio on for her and leave her food, water & plenty of toys ! Good luck !
Renee

You may want to suggest to the other members of your family that when you leave and she freaks out, not to try of comfort her but rather to ignore her and start playing with something that she likes, whil staying near her. This distraction and lack of encouragement for her behavior may help her to get over herself. Maltese will wrap us around their little paws if we let them but they are also more than capable of behaving like a 4 your old does when him tantrum is ignored, get up dry his eyes and go play with the other children!
Lauren & Zoe

I agree with the others, and wanted to add that (if you haven't already tried this), have your husband and/or son take over the feeding and grooming of her. That may help her to associate them with caregivers in her new family as well. I think in time it will work out. The poor thing has been through a traumatic experience and a lot of family changes, and just feels insecure right now.
Aimee

Thank you all for the tips. They really are like toddlers aren't they? My husband lured her out last night for a short walk- she was okay and then came running back onto the couch and licked me as if she had been gone for a year. I love it. I also left her home yesterday and got a report that she was fine. (We didn't have a long morning farewell.) I'm really happy to have found others who feel like we do about these little guys. My mother thinks I've gone nuts since we got Precious. Oh well- if she could only see her...
Sharon

I'm having the exact same problem. Let me know how these suggestions are working for you. I will see if my husband will try these things. So far the problem keeps getting worse and worse instead of better.
Ann