Abusing 11 mo. old Maltese

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Archived Message

Abusing 11 mo. old Maltese
by Mary
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Abusing 11 mo. old Maltese This is my first time on this website. I read the articles on the home page and couldn't find what I'm looking for. I need a recommendation for a website or a book to buy to get information about animal abuse. My best friend's sister has an eleven month old maltese. She has a daughter who is fourteen who is abusing the maltese. My friend is aware of it and confided in me. I told her to sell her dog, but she will not do it. She said she will watch her dog more and tell her daughter this better stop immediately. I still have a strange feeling her daughter will keep the behavior up. My friend has caught her hitting the dog in the face, scaring the dog in many ways, and when she came home from work one day the dog was in a closet. I am very sick about this situation and want to help her make the right decision for that dog which would be to get it out of her house as painful as it may be for her to do. If I could find a website I could show her what could happen to the dog if she doesn't sell her. Or if I can find and buy a book to show her that would help too. I don't think she realizes the harm her daughter could do to this dog. That is the type if information I am seeking-something that I could show her daughter even about what can happen when she hits the dog. Maybe it would scare her and she would stop. I'm sorry I'm rambling on and on. If anyone could help me help the little dog, I would be grateful.

DISCUSSION:

Dear Concerned Friend, You have every right to be concerned this is a serious situation. I can imagine the mental anguish you must be experiencing in trying to deal with this problem. I wish I had an easy answer for you but I don't, whatever you do will take a lot of courage and possibly cost you a friendship.

From what I know about teenagers who abuse animals I would be very concerned for this fourteen year old child who finds pleasure or relief in causing pain to a weak helpless animal.

The phone book is full of counsellors. This family needs to get the first available appointment and find out "why" the child is acting out in this way. Latest studies on serial killers, rapists, sex offenders, etc. indicate that most started by abusing animals as children. Since the mother refuses to remove the Maltese from her 14 year old's reach, perhaps she will be open to getting help to change the 14 year old's behavior.

This sounds like a case where the 14 year old does not possess normal empathy. This teenager could be trying to reach out for help. There are so many possiblities--but the TRUTH is that this is NOT normal, nor acceptable behavior for a 14 year old.

Try researching in the area of dysfunctional families, abnormal psychology, check for studies that have been done comparing incidence of early violence towards animals to adult criminals. Sorry, I can't remember the name of the doctors who did the research.

Also, you might ask your Veternarian for help; one of the black sides of their profession is dealing with animal abuse. The bright side of this is that there is someone like you who truly cares and that you CAN make a difference. I know you will make the right decision and do the best thing for all concerned.

Maltese Hugs
Beverly B. Passe

This is such a heartbreaking story, both for the dog and for the teen. I don't know how comfortable you would be by reporting this to Humane Society, and I hope you will find a solution soon. No dogs should be treated like that. Please keep us posted.
I-Ling

Mary--I couldn't agree more with Bev. When a child/adolescent feels the need to abuse a small, helpless animal, it is reason to be alarmed. The girl needs counseling NOW. If you can, please stress the importance of this to your friend, who probably has more influence on her sister than you would have. As for the poor little maltese baby, I agree that talking to a vet is a good idea. For one thing, they may be able to direct you to the sort of reading material you are looking for. However, I fear that this is a time when "book learning" isn't what is needed. I know it would be hard to do, but if you do not see some resolution soon, you should report this behavior to your local humane society and ask them to intervene. I am heartsick just thinking about this little creature being tormented. Try to make the best use of both your heart and your head in this situation. Please keep us posted as well. I hope and pray your story will have a good ending for both the child and the fluff baby. If you live anywhere near me (suburban D.C. area in Maryland) contact Jay for my email address and I will foster this little maltese until the situation can be resolved. Also feel free to contact me if you need to find a rescue organization in your area. If a child were being abused it would be taken from the home and placed in a better enviornment, at least temporarily. The same should hold true for the rest of God's precious and defenseless creatures.
cathy brown

Ditto to Bev's message ! This is indeed a very serious problem and makes my blood boil ! I admire your concern, have you spoken to a vet yet ? Perhaps he/she can call animal rescue or the authorities, the dog MUST leave that family, or he'll start fighting back via " biting" and then it will be even worse. If it were me, I would go over to the house and steal the pup and place him in the proper home. Please, keep us posted ! And good luck !
Renee

Dear Mary: I do not know where you are located, but here in California the behaviour you describe is cruelty to animals which is against the law! To intervene, a phone call to your local police department and/or SPCA would be effective. As a parent of a 14 year old, I will tell you 2 things: 1. This behaviour is NOT normal nor acceptable, and 2. The mother is enabling the abuse which makes her an accomplice. Sounds harsh, I know. But since when does a parent witness such action and not step in? If this were a younger sibling instead of a dog, would she allow it to continue? Call your local authority for the dog's sake and let the 14 year old get help; but AFTER the dog is safely protected!
Tracy

Dear Mary, I agree with Beverly. This sounds like a teen who is suffering emotionally and is acting out her pain on a helpless creature. I would advise your friend to get help, and right away. Who knows what is going on with this girl and what this situation could develop into. I once knew a boy in my childhood who abused animals. His parents were going through a divorce and he had no one to talk to about it, unfortunatly in his suffering he probably caused a lot of self hatred by the underlying guilt of what he had done to helpless creatures.
susan

What a terrible situation for all involved - Beverly is absolutely right. All I can add is that I will keep them in my prayers.
Leslie R

Mary, BIG DITTO on all of the above. This just breaks my heart. Keep us posted.
Libby & Buster

Dear Mary, You must be a very good person to care so much for this innocent little dog. Please heed these postings and do something quickly. This poor dog should not have to suffer another day of this horendous treatment. What is wrong with the mother? If my child were abusing an animal, I would do whatever I had to to get her help IMMEDIATELY. Saying "she will watch things more carefully" is way too little, way too late!! Thank you, Mary, for caring. And thank you Tracy, I think your posting said it best.
Sandee M.

First things first, do everything you possibly can to get that animal out of that house before one more act of cruelty can befall it. There are laws against animal abuse. Secondly, the daughter definitely needs counseling as so many have stated above. This young girl is out of control and faces a bleak future unless something is done for her now. Mary, congratulations for having the courage of taking the first step in righting this situation. Good luck. Marie
Marie

I agree with all of the above. PLEASE GET THAT BABY OUT OF THAT SITUATION IMMEDIATELY. We will pray for happy and fast solution for all concerned. God Bless you for helping.
Shelley

I am just sick, reading this. I sure agree with Beverly and Cathy......something is very very wrong with this teen. I will be watching this site constantly for a follow up on this poor poor little defenseless Maltese puppy. I await more information....on what is being done. Thank you for caring.
Bel and the m & m & m girls

How sad and distressing this situation is. If none of the excellent advice above helps resolve the problem, could you possibly approach the 14 year old and offer to PURCHASE the puppy from her? Sometimes money talks. I don't know what area you are in, but if it's anywhere near Birmingham, AL, I will be happy to purchase the poor animal in order to remove it from the unhealthy and dangerous environment. My prayers for all involved!
Jackie Smith

Thank you all for your responses. I printed out my topic and the responses-I hope this is allowed-and I gave it to my friend and she is going to her sister's house tonight. I also told my friend I am willing and able to purchase the dog myself. She will call me back tonight and let me know what happens. If she will not give the dog up, I will report this to the Humane Society and the police. My friend said she will bear no grudge in my doing this. She has wanted to do this herself but couldn't bring herself to do it. I will write back when I find out the outcome of my friend's visit to her sister. Thank you very much everyone.
Mary

I am very interested in knowing how this turns out. It breaks my heart to think that an innocent little baby is being hurt. As far as the mother not being able to bring herself to do anything, she also needs help - allowing a 14 year old to be in control and abusive is beyond me. I have a 14 year old son who absolutely adores my 2 babies and would never think of abusing them! I hope the dog is no longer a member of that household and is in a happy home. It will take a special person/family to work with this precious puppy and make him/her feel safe and loved. I had to do it with one of mine and I was successful, so GOOD LUCK! It's a great feeling to know you came to a baby's rescue.
Becky

Mary, That's a great idea! The mother hopefully will get some new insights into the situation from the ideas and emotional pleas published here. Please tell us how it is resolved because we do care.
Beverly B. Passe

Good for you, Mary! Please let us know how this turns out. Just know that you have the moral support of all Maltese owners!
Ellyn

Hello again everyone. Well, what I've been through the past two days! To make a long story short, this morning I received my new pet. Her former owner wouldn't take my money. She just asked me to give Annie a good home. I sadly think the threat of calling the police is what prompted her to take action. If I wouldn't have done that Annie probably wouldn't be here with me now. She would have kept her despite her daughter's cruel behavior toward the dog. I feel sad about all this yet at the same time am happy with my new pet Annie. I have an appointment with the vet in the morning. She has been spayed already and I was told she is up to date on her shots. She needed a bath so I gave her one. She is a beautiful maltese. I live alone and I don't work so I will be home with her all the time. The only time I leave my home is to run errands, go grocery shopping, visit my friends and visit my kids. I will take Annie with me where ever I go except where they do not allow dog's. I am recently widowed and now I will not be so lonely. Thank you all for your responses and for being there for me when I needed help. God Bless you all! I will try to visit this website again in the future, but I don't own a computer and I'm at my son and daughter-in-laws borrowing theirs now. I frequently go to their house and check on their dog's when they are at work so I will hopefully be able to visit here again soon in the future and let you all know how Annie is getting along. Thank You all again, and have a nice day!
Mary

Dear Mary,I am so very happy for you and Annie! It sounds like you both have some healing to do, and I know from the love and concern you expressed in your messages that Annie will be a very happy puppy in no time at all. I hope the best for your friend, she made a good choice in giving Annie up. Now she can focus on her daughter and find out why all this was going on. This situation must not be forgotten now that Annie is safely out of the house. No one unless they had severe emotional problems could do such a thing. My prayers are with your friend,and I hope she and her daughter find the help she so desperatly needs.
susan

Mary, what wonderful news!! I am so happy that the matter turned out as it did. Sounds like you will be the PERFECT mom for little Annie. How is she adapting? Does she seem shy or is she trusting and secure? Poor little thing - to think of what she endured in the past. Thanks for updating us. I couldn't wait to find out how all was resolved. Good luck and post us each time you go to your kids' house.
Jackie Smith

Mary--I am so happy for you and Annie! I LOVE this happy ending to what was a truly tragic tale. We have noticed when placing rescue babies that "the right dog for the right person" always seems to show up just when the time is right. Sounds to me like you needed a baby and Annie needed a mom. Try and visit us here when you can to let us know how both of you are doing. I know you will be getting lots and lots of love from this little ball of fluffy stuff and perhaps it will help ease some of the pain you have been going through. We send you lots of love and hugs from our house and Lucy and Carty send Annie special kisses straight from their hearts.
cathy brown

Mary, how wonderful for you and Annie. Have a good life together. Look forward to hearing from you in the future. God Bless you for helping that baby. KoKo and Shayna send you a "High Four".
Shelley

Mary, good for you! You are truly a kind person. I am speaking from experience, that I am certain that you will be rewarded a thousand times for giving this puppy a new home.
Ellyn

God works in mysterious ways...
Marie

I'm sorry I missed the original post, but just to say that it looks like you and Annie may have found exactly what each needs. I hope your friend's sister's daughter gets some help too, and can eventually find what she needs to live a happy, productive life. Thank God that woman realized (no matter what prompted it), that the poor little dog needed to be protected, before something really tragic occured. I love to hear stories about people like you who care enough to do something when they see a wrong being done. I know it took a lot of courage and strength, and I'm sure you will be greatly rewarded for your efforts.
Aimee

Mary, I am so grateful for your action and for Annie. It is good to know Annie is in good hands now. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us. I am sure you and Annie will enjoy/appreciate each other from now on.
I-Ling

Dear Mary....We are so happy for you !! These little darlings,and all pets, cannot choose their masters. You are making a happy home for this little darling.......that is wonderful !! Keep in touch......and take care all....Bel and the 3 m's.
Bel & the m & m & m girls

I am so Happy to hear that this baby is now safe I have been reading this through tear filled eyes and I am so thankful that you were there to save that poor baby!!!!! I am hopeful that the teenage girl gets help for something is extremly wrong with her and the mother should be there too for letting this go on there has to be a reason and a solution for everyone to heal from this bad situation. I am glad that this baby is now in a loving home so she will soon be able to forget her bad memories and she will live in a loving home !!!!!!!!! You are a wonderful woman for going the extra mile when other would duck there heads and ignore the situation. I know that this baby will give you the love that you need and deserve for rescuing her.Best wishes and licks and hugs from Gracie
Donna

I'm so happy that some people have hearts of gold and you are one of them. Enjoy your new pet because I know she loves you already.
Kathy