Female Bonding Issue

Archived Message

Female Bonding Issue
by Bill W.
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
My Wife, Jane and I are picking up our puppy in two weeks. We visited the two in the litter yesterday (one male and one female). The female is smaller and seems just as affectionate as the male, so she is the one we probably will choose in two weeks. We have the pick of the litter since we gave the breeder our deposit first. The breeder tells me that the female Maltese will love me better than my wife and bond better to me, while the male Maltese will bond better with my wife since she is a female. I travel a lot and want a puppy that will adore my wife so she is not lonely when I am away. Other breeders have also told us this before we decided on this breeder. I would really appreciate it if female owners of female Maltese would tell me of their experiences with this issue. Thank you all so much.

DISCUSSION:

I have a female and she bonds more to me than my husband. My sister has a female and she bonds more to her. My friend has 3 Maltese. The two females bond more to her and the little male is more her husband's buddy. I really think the bonding has more to do with who does the feeding, grooming and inital caring. Layla loves my husband but I am the one who is does most of the caring for her. Others may have different experiences with male and female bonding but this is what I have seen through the ones I have been around. Just let your heart decide on which one to get. You won't go wrong. ;o)
Lorie & Layla

Sorry, Bill, but your breeder cant make a blanket judgement like that. I have a male and a female, both are affectionate to everyone, but my female Puff is closer to me than anyone in the house, while my male Trevor is partial to my husband. So you take which ever baby your heart tells you to and dont worry about the bonding. Maltese have room in their hearts to love more than one :)
Sandy, Puff & Trevor

Cotton's favorite person is my husband. He will follow my husband around the house, outside, wherever my husband goes Cotton goes. Cotton has his little rituals that he performs with each of us. With our son and daughter, he romps and chases, with me he wants to be held and cuddled. Some nights Cotton doesn't get much sleep because he spends a little bit of the night with my husband and I, then he spends some portion of the night sleeping with our daughter and then goes in for a time with our son. Whoever is home with him, he sticks close to. If you are traveling alot (even if you might be your puppies favorite person), the puppy will still bond with your wife.
Susan P.

I have found through my experiences, that males seem to fav "me" and my female adores her Daddy. My husband does not feed them or even take them outside much, I do it all, yet she still loves her Daddy best. Now don't get me wrong, I know she loves me with all she's got, I think its the deeper voice that makes her feel safe. While she was pregnant, I got more loving from her than I had the entire year I had her before, it was wonderful. I was a Daddy's girl and my brother's fav was my Mother, maybe it's just how "us" humans were raised !! I truly believe that whichever one you choose will be perfect. The Maltese Breed is such a loving dog, I really think since you will be gone alot, he/she will adore your wife !! Good luck to you all, keep us informed on which you all get !! Jan
Jan Scofield

We have two females and they "adore" my husband and me equally.
Alice

Hi Bill. I wouldn't even worry about the bonding thing and just pick the puppy that you like the best. My female malts are both more bonded to me (mom) and I think it has more to do with the fact I do most of the caring for them and are around lots more! Whatever you choose you will have so much fun with your puppy. Good luck!
Robin MC

My male, Casper, is my baby and "my" female, Dena sticks like glue to my daughter and only notices me at feeding time. It your wife is alone for long periods of time with the furbaby they will bond, regardless of which sex it is. These babies are so loving that they are looking for a person to love. If your wife wants love, she'll get it. And then, when you come home, you'll be a little jealous of the furbaby. But that's okay too!
Marcia

I have a one year old female. Tasha definetly favors me but it just may be that I spend the most time around her especially when she was a puppy. She thinks I am her real "Mommy" and its very apparent when she is around my husband and my children who her favorite is although she is extremely affectionate to everyone. My breeder said that the males were more affectionate in general and that females were more independent but I have found that Tasha is just a little lover so I am sure you will be happy with either puppy you decide to bring home.
Rosemary and Tasha

I agree with earlier posts that bonding has nothing to do with the sex of the animal or caregiver. My female rescue is very attached to me, but over the past 6-9 months has been warming up to my husband. My male that we've had since a puppy is equally attached to both -- just depends on who is available at the time. Go with your gut feeling and pick the one that feels right to you. Good luck!!
Mary Ellen

Bill,First of all, congratulations on the upcoming arrival of your puff baby! We are the new and VERY proud owner of our little puff, Rudy. He is 12 weeks old and has formed a special bond with each family member. Since you do travel a great deal, your wife will become the primary care-giver, as I have become for Rudy. That, in and of itself, creates a special bond. I think this holds true regardless of the gender of the puppy.

Rudy tends to respond better to my husband's voice...and yet, I can soothe Rudy when he is excited or agitated over something. Rudy knows that for fun and play, my boys will provide that. These little babies have big hearts, and can adore more than one person at a time.

So, take whichever puppy touches your heart in that most special way. I would advise spending as much time with the litter as possible and handle the puppies. I was in a very unique situation where Rudy was concerned. The breeder just so happens to be a good friend of mine, so I would drop by often to see the babies.(he was 1 of a litter of 3...2 boys, 1 female) From the get go, we were able to distinguish Rudy from the other male. Rudy's personality seemed to "fit" in with mine. So, that part was easy!!

I think once you bring your puff baby home, within a matter of minutes, a bond will form. Please let us know which gender you choose. Amanda/Rudy
Amanda

Bill, great decision the maltese breed is the best. We are new parents to a 14 wk old female maltese "Kikki". I do spend more time with Kikki since my husband gets home around 7pm. We both take her out, feed her and play with her. My husband think that she is bonded to me more then to him, but as soon as he comes home she likes to sit on his lap when he watches T.V. so I realy think that she loves us equaly. We chose a female because some of our friends told us that male maltese like to mark their teritory and I was worried about that. But when we went to pick our maltese I could'nt make up my mind between two of them. So I picked both of them up looked them in the eyes and said "which one of you wants to come home with me?" Kikki started to leak my face imediatly almost like saying I do, I do. This is how we chose our maltese.

Good luck to you and your wife, and don't worrie she will love you both.

Dorit and Kikki
Dorit

Congradulations! I can only speak from my own experience. I have 3 females and 1 male Maltese. They bond with me. They love my husband, but they are around me all the time. They just spend more time with me and that is the reason for the solid bonding. I really don't think the sex of the pup would matter. He or she will love you both unconditionally. The one the pup spends the most time with and vise versa is the one the pup will become more attached too. However,it will have plenty of love to show and give the both of you. I really don't think the sex of the owner or the new pup would matter, on this subject. Have fun with your new Maltese puppy. The love will be there, no matter which pup you choose.
Windsong

I think Robin Mc said it best - but have to add that your breeder is way off on this topic! There are many factors that sway which way a dogs loyalty goes. I have Phoebe who is eighteen months old and she is mine - period, oh she loves everybody, but she is Mom's girl. I've had males and I've had females and everything depends on the particular dog to be sure - but they have all bonded with me. Congratulations and best wishes! Just get the pup that tugs at your heart!
Leslie R

Bill, we have two dogs Baxter & Bella - Baxter is daddy's boy but loves me too - Bella loves her daddy but she is mommy's baby. If they are in the yard and don't seem to want to come in sometimes Mike has to call Baxter before he will come in and sometimes if Mike lets the dogs out Bella wont come in for him so I have to call her - if Mike is away as he often is I get the box of doggie biscuits and shake it yelling TREATS TREATS TREATS - that usually works and they come running. When Mike gets home at night Baxter is delirious and Bella catches the fever too but I notice however warm a greeting he gets from Bella she doesnt go insane like she does when I come home. When daddy goes away Baxter misses him and gets so excited when we go to the airport as soon as Mike opens car door Baxter starts jumping around in his Kennel enough to almost knock it off the seat - dont worry about the bonding these babies dont ignore anyone and you would have to be more than casual observer to notice whom they favor more they really are like human babies.
Shirley

Bill, I have a female maltese, Annabel, that is one year old. From the very beginning she has been mommie's baby. I am the one that bathes and grooms her, but my husband feeds her and gives her treats. I am away working during the day, while my husband works out of our home. She loves daddy very much, she plays with him (they play hide & seek, it is so funny), gets treats from him...but when I get home, she goes absolutely nuts! She is always by my side when I am home. She sleeps by me every night...she is definately mommie's girl. But like a post above...each dog that I have had, male or female, has always bonded with me. I guess they always know which one of us is the pushover! CindyP & Annabel
CindyP

Bill, I have a female puppy, and she is mega-bonded with me. She loves being petted and smooched by my husband and 14 year old daughter, but it's "Mom" that she is stuck to like glue if I am in the house at all. I think that you should just get your little girl, and if you and your wife both pay lots of attention to her and treat her as if she were queen of your house (as if you could resist doing that!!!), she will adore both of you. Enjoy your little one!!
Bev

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