Deprived of love??
by Lorie & Layla
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Hello everyone. I need some advice about getting another Maltese. I love my Layla with my whole heart. She is my everything. I take her every where I go and I spend as much time as possible with her. I guess you could say she is my best friend. She has made me hooked on Maltese which is why I am considering purchasing another one. My niece has 3 Maltese, she just got her third one Feb. 14th. It seems to me that when people have just one they give it all the love they can then when a new one comes they STILL love the first one but the new baby ends up being loved just a little more. I can understand where the new baby must get a little more attention but the love for the first seems to be different as they are no longer the baby. Please, any one with more than one fur-baby tell me if your first Maltese has ended up being second in the love department after getting more. This post may seem silly to some but it is really bothering me as I love Layla so much that I in no way want to deprive her of even an ounce of my love. As far as sharing the attention between the two, that is ok, but I want Layla to feel that she is as much loved as she is now. I know some of you will say to just stick with one for now if I seem so worried but I really do love this breed so much that I would like to get another one or even two. So please share your feelings with me.
DISCUSSION:
lorie - you wrote exactly how I feel about getting another, i want another, i'm sure bailey would benefit from another, but i don't want him to feel "second", he's my little boy and always will be. I'm anxious to hear others advise as well.
mary & bailey
When it was just Holly and I, we were also best friends. Except for work I never left her for a minute. After she passed away, I got Bear and Dolly within a month of each other. Bear was first and then Dolly came along a month later. Well, just guess who the "odd man out" is? MOM!!! You better get used to being second fiddle because they will love each other and play with each other constantly. It is fun to have two of them. They are never alone that way. But when you give love to one of them, you have to give it to both of them. Also, Layla will be jealous at first, so make sure she is secure in your love at all times. Have fun!!!
Katy & Bear & Dolly
I have thought a lot about this as I want to adopt a new baby this summer. Avery is my life. I love her completely. But, think of it just as you would if a family has a new human baby. Their first child is loved, but there is always more room in their hearts for another child. You will love each one differently, but the same amount. If you can expand your heart, there will be no problem!
Michelle
I understand fully what you are going through. When I adopted Kirby about two weeks ago from the local shelter, I was very concerned about its affect on Lucca. I didn't want Lucca to ever feel he was being displaced. I was advised by many knowledgeable people that once Kirby arrived that Lucca had to be treated like the "top dog" and to give him as much if not more attention than before. Not only does that maintain Lucca's relationship with me, but helps his relationship with the newcomer. So far, this has worked out well, although there was one day when I believe that Lucca was actually depressed. So we had a special friend come visit and give him oodles of attention and he snapped right out of it. Don't get me wrong, you will go through the "guilts" and should seek out advice from trainers and people who have been through this. One benefit of having two which I have noticed is that Lucca has actually become MORE loveable to me, something that I didn't believe was possible. He is sweet with Kirby and less hyper when I first get home at night. It's as if he likes the company of Kirby, but he is confident of his place in the family. I think having Kirby has actually been wonderful for Lucca and made our relationship even better. I say -- go for it!
JoanG
I think I know just how you're feeling. After several years of deliberation, we have decided to get another furbaby. The reason for this is mostly companionship for our first baby. I have seen so many households with successful 2-dog families. And everything I've read on this site tells me I'm right in doing this. So I feel confident in doing so. There are many, many folks on this site with 2,3, 4 or more Maltese, and they are happy as can be. I hope you ( and I!) will be too. Best of luck to you.
Cindy & Kashi
I was afraid the same thing would happen when I got my Trevor, but it didnt. Puff is still my first baby and she tends to get the most attention from me. But Trevor is "daddy's boy", he seems to be more attached to my husband than me, and that is fine. Also, Puff seems to be more clingy than Trevor, he has to be in the mood for cuddles. But they both get along great, they sleep together most of the time and they play together so cute. I dont think you should worry, as long as you pay some attention to both, they will adjust quite nicely, I am sure :)
Sandy, Puff & Trevor
Hello, Lorie and Layla, My first Maltese was named Layla also. She made such an in- pression, that she was later joined by others. I now have 4 Maltese. Everyone of them has been loved equally. Layla was my first and she is by no means in the shadow of any of the others. She leads the pack. She is queen and that is just fine with all of the rest. She even helped me teach the new comers "The Routine" aound here too. She's great. If ones on the bed, they all in the bed. If she's in my lap, they're all in my lap,but no matter where they are,she gets choice of where she's sitting/ sleeping.They all get along and accept each other. When people see them and ask me who I had first. I proudly swoop her up and say Layla was. She knows it too. I love everyone of them. Equally! However, Layla will always have that special place in my heart(and anywhere else she likes ha ha).Go for it! Windsong
Windsong
Lorie, this is a question that I think many people ask - to my mind it's the equivalent of 'doggy sibling rivalry'! Well, I have my Phoebe who is my baby and gets plenty of attention and love - she adores me and follows me all over the place, my lap is always full. She loves our cats and when I first got our youngest cat this past summer there was a brief time when Phoebe would drop whatever she was doing to play with the kitten - she still loves him, but the novelty has worn off a bit. It's great to have a playmate for your pup and I think that this is one of those issues where again a Maltese is going to be like a child. Each will bring you a different sort of love and a different sort of flavor to your days. Good luck!
Leslie R
Lorie, I find that I love my two maltese in much the same way that many people love their human children....loving them equally, but yet in different ways. Sebastian was my first maltese and he will always be special because he is mommy and daddy's boy. I love him for having tons of personality and spunk. The way I love Sunny (2nd maltese and a rescue) is different in that she came from a very abused situation and so I am very protective and nuturing of her as a way of trying to make up for the years of maltreatment and neglect. Each one has a distinct personality and will show you that there are unique ways to love them, so don't worry about giving more to one than the other.
Mary Ellen
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