Desperate for help

Archived Message

Desperate for help
by Dee
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Ellie turned 1 on 10/10/98. We adore her, but are considering giving her away. She had been completely housebroken, but after coming into heat about 3 weeks ago, she developed a false pegnancy ( she is never outside alone) according to the vet. The vet says hormonally, she is pregnant, without having any puppies inside. She is now urinating on all of the furniture and on our beds. I had a Maltese as a young girl and I never have been through such a nightmare. We are now confining her to the laundry room. but she normally had the run of the house. I need any and all suggestions to help with this crisis as soon as possible. I don't see a solution and I think it unfair to keep her cooped up all the time. What do I do with our loving, but suddenly bizarre dog? Please help save Ellie.

DISCUSSION:

In all seriousness, have you considered a pet psychiatrist? Also, did the vet give you any indication on how long these false pregnancies last? I would certainly have her spayed before I would consider giving her away!
Isabel

Don't give up! Go back to your vet -- or to another vet. I think there are hormone shots that can "terminate" a false pregnancy. Even if it has to run its course, they don't last any longer than a real pregnancy. Then, you have your little furbaby spayed before her next heat. Before your know it, life will be back to normal for you and for her.
Marcia

This just shows one more reason to have your pet spayed - if this problem gives you thoughts of giving your dog away then please have someone help you place her in a loving home where she will be properly loved and cared for.
Leslie R

Isabel...you don't say what your vet's advice was. How long does this false pregnancy last? Can she be spayed during this time? Is it a psychological problem that can be helped with a pet therapist? I just think it is a very drastic step to even consider giving away a pet you have had, and have loved and enjoyed for an entire year because she has suddenly developed this problem. I implore you to look further into other options, as well as to getting as much advice on this behavior as possible from all sources, including the advice of other vets. (this, by the way, is a great source.) Good Luck and keep us posted; I am very curious to see how this resolves itself. -Susan-
Susan and Smudge

Well, you could wait til she's over this and see what happens, and you could maybe be a bit more understanding about what is happening to her. Did the vet offer any solutions? You could also try housebreaking again. I think you're too quick to mention giving her away! HA, I will take her, how's that? Dogs are pretty darn perfect most the time, but the minute something goes wrong some people are so quick to think of just giving them away!
Robin M. & Taffy

I know this may sound a bit harsh, but I have to speak my mind. When I see posts like this it makes me soo angry. Why is it that people only want dogs when they are well behaved and perfectly healthy. What would you do if your child started to bed wet? Would you put him or her up for adoption?? And before I get a million responses from people saying it is not the same, it is! She is a living thing with feelings and needs. How horrible would it be to know that you are only loved when you are healthy. I would not give away my 2 girls no matter what, I wouldn't care how sick or misbehaved they were. I would find a solution. Have you thought of putting diapers on her and then taking them off every few hours to walk her. And no, isolating her is not the answer. She is probably very sad and confused why she is being shunned and is probably scared about the changes her body is going through. I also would not be pleased if my furniture was being peed on, but I would not be so quick to throw my baby away because she was having a medical problem. Why is she not spayed??? If you think pee is bad, wait until she starts bleeding on your furniture. I would have her spayed as soon as the vet says it is OK. If you decide not to keep her, please don't dump her at a pound. Try to find a Maltese rescue or someone who will give her the care she needs. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, I am glad you are seeking help, please don't be offended. It's just that they can't talk for themselves so I thought maybe you were not considering how she is feeling, she loves you and only tries to make you happy, she is probably more stressed out about this than you... just some food for thought...
Stacey

Dee, I would suggest that you take Ellie back to the vet immediately or get a second opinion as to what might be causing this symptom. She may have some inflamation or infection that is causing this problem. Good luck in getting this solved.
Jeanne and Sugar

Please don't give her away!! These babies are so loving and wonderful. I agree with Isabel, have her spayed. Get yourself some "See Spot Go" for your carpets and beds, and do keep her confined during the day and when you are not with her. Start housebreaking all over again, preferably with a crate. Take her out on a regular basis. If you still consider giving her away, PLEASE let Jay know so that one of us at MO can step up and take her.
Sherry & The Boys

Dee, well I definitely don't think poor Ellie needs a pet psychiatrist - she is only doing what is instinct to her. May I ask, why haven't you had her spayed?? It does sound like this is the main problem - if Ellie were mine, I'd get her spayed right away. My Bailey was spayed at 6 months and there are no problems. Good Luck!
Robin D.

Dee: PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ELLIE AWAY. I suggest you have her spay as soon as the Vet will allow. Also, you didn't mention if she was crate trained. We had a problem with Shayna reverting after she was trained. I think because she was in pain all the time with all those hairs in her eyes. Anyway we put her back in the crate and it really helped. Had to keep her crated for about 5 months (when we were out of course), but she learned, potty in the puppy john or outside, or in the crate you go. Actually she loves her crate and when she would see us get ready to go out, in the crate she went. She still goes there if its raining or when she wants comfort. Please work with her. I now know Shayna had a problem and she was trying to get our attention. Now that she's not in constant pain, she doesn't have many accidents at all. Good luck, KoKo & Shayna send Licks & Tail Wags to your Elli. Oh, when will she delivery these phantom puppies.
Shelley

You should have her spayed. Also, you should put in some effort to get her housebroken. There are many books on the subject. I hate the idea of a Maltese (or an other dog for that matter) in a shelter.
David

If you are not considering breeding her, common sense says to get her spayed. It is entirly too soon to just give up. Unless of course you are just looking for an excuse to get rid of her. I'm soory to be so blunt, but it appears to me that you just dont want to be bothered. Chris and Jack
Chris and Jack

Poor little darling! Sounds like Ellie is going through a really tough time. This is her moment of need -- please don't shut her away or abandon her! It is really important to recognize that she can't help her bodily functions right now. This probably makes her stressed out and miserable. Isolation is one of the worst forms of punishment for a dog. Throw some covers over your furniture, have a crate where she can stay near you if she has no control. Walk her or play with her outside. Get a second opinion from the vet. When it is safe to do so, have her spayed. Help her! She is completely dependent on you. Please Dee, take good and loving care of your baby. She needs you now more than ever. If you can't take on this responsibility, please make sure that she goes to a good and loving home where she will be taken care of and loved for better or worse.
Barbara & Touquet

Dee,My sister just took her cat to the vet for the same reason. Frequent urination can be the result of diabetes. Please have her checked...
Glorya & Oliver

Dee,Something sounds wrong here. Did you plan on breeding her? If not, why didn't you get her spayed? I would go to a different Vet for a second opinion. Sounds to me that she is very confused.
Carol R.

Dee, she is not bizarre, just "doin what comes nacherly" as the song goes. I think incontenance pads might be a temporary solution, and perhaps keeping her in the kitchen instead of a laundry room till her hormone levels get back to normal. And I would get more veternary advice about false pregnancies. I think you would regret giving her up, so try to be patient. I know its easy for others to give advice when they haven't experienced what you are going through. No lectures here, but if you dont have any desire to breed Ellie, then you might as well have her spayed when she is physically able to have the operation. I know most have their dogs spayed when they are 6 months, but I have decided to wait till Puff is at least 18 months. Hormones do not only affect the sexual function of the dog, but also its physical growth as well. She has already gone through her first heat with no problems. Please hang in there with Ellie, she really needs your understanding and love now, more than ever. Good luck.
Sandy and Puff

Ah, Dee, maybe it's the birthday. had the same problem with my Angel and his birthday is 10/10/97. Just kidding about the bday part but I did have the same problem, although Angel's a male. I had him fixed late, at 14 months, and although it was hard, I'm very glad that I did. The health issues are too significant to ignore. I had Angel beautifully housebroken and he had the run of the house. Then all of a sudden many problems (and puddles). I had to resort to crate training, something I'd managed to avoid up until then. In my case it was partly due to my absences and partly due to the neighbor's lab who ran freely through the neighborhood. Every time he entered my yard, Angel went nuts and began peeing (I assume territorially) around the house. The crate training has worked and we're about to graduate to giving him the kitchen again while I'm away. I'm sorry you feel your housebreaking problems are grounds for "dismissal" but whomever made that comment about giving up your kids for adoption when they bedwet has my vote. When I adopted Angel, I did so for better or for worse. I've had to get up at 3am and change the bed but accepted that as part of the learning process. He has improved and, at 2 years old, is definitely a grownup. Tell you what, WHEN you get her spayed and if it doesn't help, contact me at "siobhan@tweedy.com" and we'll talk about maybe my adopting her. Heck, both have the same birthday...one less date for me to remember! I'm on the lookout for a companion for Angel and am waiting to hear about possible rescues. I wish you the best. Just try to keep your sense of humor and lots of patience! I'll bet this is no picnic for her either.
siobhan

I keep telling people that intact males can make wonderful clean pets (in the absence of females of course) but that intact bitches can be a real problem but no one listens. Dee, my suggestion to you would be to have your vet check her urine for an infection and then schedule a spay job as soon as possible when the vet says it's safe. Bitches in heat pee almost constantly, here and there, and kind of go crazy. They go back to normal again when the heat is over or they are bred. The false pregnancy is NOT, I repeat NOT, a psychological condition but a chemical hormonal one. To prevent it occurring again have her spayed. I would not let her run around the house in the meantime, a separate room seems very appropriate to me. However she is not being 'bad' so too much scolding is not good because she will not understand. After the spay job start her housetraining from scratch. You will be amazed. She is really the same wonderful girl you had before.
Mary Lou

If this peeing thing really is because of the false pregnacy you must stop and ask yourself who's fault is that?! Ellie could not drive herself to the vet and ask to be spayed!!! And knowing that is why she is having this problem should make you more understanding and tolerant. But you do not seem to be understanding or tolerant at all. Ellie can't help this. And you say you adore her but then why has she not been spayed? Surely you know this would be the best thing for her regarding her health. You should do some real soul searching. Even if this health problem does get resolved, there could (and probably will at some point) be more in the future. Are you prepared for that? I hate to think of poor Ellie having to get used to a new home but perhaps that would be best. She can't be happy spending all her time in the laundry room. I look at my Angel and try to imagine what she could do that would make me consider getting rid of her and I can not think of one thing, I love her with all my heart....even if she started playing with matches!
Sandee

I just want to add that I know this can not be easy for you either. But after thinking this over, you do decide to find Ellie a new home, PLEASE take the time to find her a LOVING home. (What about Robin & Taffy?). Don't just hastily give her away. And like someone else suggested, there are Maltese resue places available as one option. Good luck.
Sandee

Dee, I know you didn't post your question hoping to get dumped on but trying to get help. Still, it is hard not to dump first--in one breath, you "adore her," and in the next you want to give her away. You might not like to hear this (if so, just stop reading here). When dogs use the house for a bathroom it is usually the human's fault not the dog's. In your case, I'd say the first mistake you made was not to have her spayed--of course you didn't know she would have this false pregnancy thing going, but just the same, spaying is something you must do for her general health and well-being. Anyhow now that you can see the result of not spaying her, get her in for surgery as soon as you possibly can. Sometimes vets will even spay during heat, so you might discuss this with yours. Second, you are going to have to be responsible for controlling the pee-pee in the house, not a poor little dog who is confused by her body at the moment. Go back to whatever you did originally to potty train her and start from square one. She needs to be reminded about what the expectations are. If after that you still want to find a home for her, please contact me, or Libby, or Jay. Finding a home for a 1 yr old female right here in our forum is probably not a problem. Whatever you do, don't dump her at a shelter, place an ad in a newspaper, or otherwise give her to just anyone. If you do, it will haunt you forever (and I just might too!). You made a commitment to this little girl when you brought her into your life the same as a commitment to a child, a mate, a friend, or a job...honor it.
cathy brown

Hello. I have a little girl named Ellii. There is no problem that she could have that would cause me to 'get rid of her'. We had another dog for 16 years and she is at rainbow bridge now. BEFORE we got Ellii, we COMMITTED to taking the best care of her that we could her entire life. There are a lot of people that frequent this site that understand the word commitment. You saying, and I quote " We adore her, but are considering giving her away." does not spell commitment to me. Find her a committed home and don't get any more pets. It is just too hard on them to be shuffled around like that.
Jeannie

I agree with most of the above. You definately don't need a psychiatrist. What you need to do, is having her SPAYED. This is going to be a recurring problem if you don't. Believe me, I know. We had a little dachshund with that problem. There are shots to stop the false pregnancy. But next year she will have the same problem, and the year after, and the year after if you don't have her spayed. Have the vet check her also for an urinary infection. How can you say that you love her when you are ready to give her away because she is sick ? When you bought that dog you have also taken on some responsabilities. You don't discard him because it doesn't suit you anymore.
Janine

No one really understands how exasperating this kind of behavior can be unless they have gone through it. This is not a case of the dog regressing and having accidents, this is a case where the dog just goes around the house peeing on everything it can find. I took in a year old dog that did this, unbeknownst to me, the previous owner told me he was housebroken. He marked everything in my house over and over again, furniture, curtains, carpets, my refrigerator, cabinets, beds, you name it, he peed on it. I tried in vain to train him, even got him a dog door, taught him to use it, but it was no use. My house smelled like an unwashed kennel and I finally had to admit defeat and find him a new home. There is no sense in chastising Dee for feeling at her wits end. The difference is Ellie was housebroken, the dog I had wasn't. This means there is hope for Dee and Ellie. I hope things work out for you both.
Sandy and Puff

We had a basset hound years ago who had a false pregnancy. The vet told us then that having her spayed was the answer, that if we didn't it would keep happening. It's what you'll need to do, too. I understand how you hate to keep her cooped up during this time, but it's the same as anyone else who takes her will have to do. Much better if she's cooped up with her family whom she already loves and who loves her. Talk to your vet about it. You'll make it!
Reader

Dee... I came to this site looking for the same type of help as you are, except my Gizmo, is a male. Like Ellie, all of a sudden at about the age of 1 1/2 yrs. he started to wet everywhere. The first time was when I went back to work a week before my husband did after our summer vacation. I was not out of the house 5 minutes when he ran upstairs, jumped on the bed and wet all over my sleeping husband. Then things went from bad to worse. If he and I were on the bed or sofa watching tv and I would get up to use the washroom myself, 9 out of 10 times he would wet. By August it got to a point where we could not trust him at all... So in order to save Gizmo and probably my marriage I finally agreed with my husband that he would be tied up in the kitchen during the day and put in the our vestibule (since we didn't have a crate) at night. It has only been about six weeks, but what a difference. First, when we are home, 90% of the time he is no longer tied up. When we go out and at night he still sleeps in the vestibule (he actually runs in there himself at night - probably for his cookie), I think in a couple of more weeks, he will be back sleeping in our bed again and hopefully, my rugs, furniture, and beds will be safe one again. I beg of you... I know that this is pure frustration at the moment, but please do everything in your power to help Ellie. The fact that you are seeking help proves your overwhelming love for her as it is. Don't Give up.... Sam and Gizmo (affectionately known as Mr. Peebody)
Sam

I have a friend that was in the same situation with her 5 year old Fluffball. Thankfully, she finally came to her senses (after 2 years of nagging) and had her spayed. The phantom pregnancy phase disappeared. (Her Malt had a favourite teddy bear that she would pretend was her puppy and nobody could go anywhere near it!)
CMS

Dee, here is my sincere offer to help you with Ellie! If it is at all physically possible, I will take Ellie for the period of her troubles! I will love her, reassure her, give her all the medical attention she requires, help her understand her situation, retrain her; whatever it takes! Gizmo & Chiclet will help her thru it also. During this time, you can decide if you are prepared to take her back & love her UNCONDITIONALLY! I live in Toronto & have no idea where you & Ellie are. Please repost about Ellie's condition. I am so concerned for the little darling & her dilema. Libby has my e address, I am more than happy to talk with you! Pls give Ellie extra hugs & kisses from all of us! :)
BeeGee

I had a dog that went throught the same thing. She isn't a Maltese but she had been housebroke for 7 years when she had suddenly started going all over the house. Ellie is trying to tell you something. Don't be mad at her, just help her. My dog went through MANY false pregnancies and eventually developed a uterine problem and almost died.I had no idea that NOT spaying a dog could cause so many problems. The only cure is spaying the dog. My dog is spayed and back to her normal self and I didn't have to house break her again. Ellie needs to be checked out and tested by a good vet who can rule out other diseases or problems that can cause a good dog to suddenly do things they don't normally do. The little babies can't talk so "listen" to their actions. She needs you now, please don't give her away. Poor thing is already scared and maybe in pain.
Malinda

It may take you all day to read these responses, and you may not even get a chance to read mine, but I would just like to say that when you have the opportunity I would like you to read my subject "Read this Thank You". The reason I would like you to take the time to do so is that you will find that I have had my share of agony with Rocky. My family and I have not only invested a great deal of time and money in helping our Rocky back to health, but also plenty of love and prayer. Rocky has had health problems (some ten times more serious then that of yours) over the last 8 years of his life, and likewise we didn't bring home the perfect maltese . . . in health that is. Rocky on the other hand is more then perfect, and eight years later his heart is still ticking in a loving home. Ellie needs your extra love and care to pull through this. Please devote yourself in doing just that. If you stop believing in her . . . the consequences could be shattering for her precious little life. If you posess the want for a loyal loving companion, Ellie may prove to be just that if you stand by her side.
Diane and Rocky

Sorry to say but I am in complete accord with Stacey. How could you think of getting rid of her because she is having problems?? The problems need to be resolved, first by having her spayed. Confing her to the laundry room is almost cruel. When you take on the responsibilty of a dog, it doesn't end just because they are "bad" this is why we have some many little doggies that wind up in a shelter to be rescued. What if your child still wet the bed at an age you thought that should be over, would you lock him-her up or perhaps put him-her up for adoption, I think not. Get real, and work with this pup, you'll have years of devotion. Patience my dear, patience!
Dottie & Tasha

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